When articles about enthusiastic consent began flooding my FB feed years ago, I eagerly waited for someone to address it from a Chinese-American perspective (or any POC cultural perspective really). Finally, I thought, someone will write something that speaks to my life.
I knew there was something to be said about saying yes and no when you (didn’t) meant it, the strange rules I’d learned from my mother, and being Chinese-American. I didn’t want to have to sketch out my messy thoughts. But I never found an article about consent and race, so I did my best here.
Nora Samaran uses her blog to explore “partly formed ideas,” so I’m reminding myself it’s okay to do the same. It’s okay to post a piece that doesn’t have a clear point/goal in mind. That said, if you have suggestions for a better title, let me know!
I miss my best friend’s wedding because of social nicety. She asks me once, twice, three times. If I was really living the fairy tale life, the third time I would’ve said yes. Instead I say no, times four and five as well.
I tell my mother about it, and she agrees I did the right thing.Read More »