Author: estherolee
poem: it’s giving
For beausia’s poem prompts for National Poetry Writing Month 2024. Prompt 9: it’s giving. Written 8.14.24. To be crossposted to IG.
it’s giving
sunshine in winter
a cool gulp of water in the heat
body crème after a hot shower
it’s giving
finding a spoon to eat tiramisu
when you thought you were all outta spoons
and you were ready to dig in with a dirty spoon,
or a butter knife if you needed to, tongue ready
for the rasp of the edge
it’s giving
the first swatch of lipstick, and knowing you’re on fire;
or an unexpected postcard from your best friend
just wanted you to know, I’m thinking of you! 😘;
so you write back and seal your letter with a lipstick kiss
I know you know the value of this
it’s giving
I’m so in love with this life
which means, I am also in love with myself
which means, I also love what it is that has brought me here
it’s giving
three of swords, ten of swords, ace of vials
you will understand, one day, what these old heartaches gave you
July & Aug 2025, fave media
Books
Aliette de Bodard’s A Fire Born of Exile (Xuya Universe Romances #2)
Elaine U. Cho’s Teo’s Durumi (The Alliance #2)
Alexis Daria’s Along Came Amor (Primas of Power #3)
Antonia Hodgson’s The Raven Scholar (Eternal Path Trilogy #1)
Yudori’s Raging Clouds
Music
Jung Kook (ft. Latto)’s Seven (Dani J Bachata remix)
Sammy Rae & The Friends’ That’s All
Vinny Rivera, Dj Magic Flow & DerekVinci’s Plan
Ed Sheeran’s Azizam
Rebecca Sugar’s Hill to Die On
Read More »poem: traveler’s invocation
Started 7.7.25 and completed 8.18.25. A mix of various inspirations: D&D/adventuring vibes, the last line of aja monet’s unhurt, Tank’s cadence in Tank and the Bangas’ performance with the Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra, Cedar McCloud’s book title The Flame That Sings, and the birthday girl’s party. Cross-posted to IG.
For V and her birthday.
as the road forks and you must decide
which way to go:
the path of thorns
the path of pins and needles,
and you think,
there must be an other way,
unlatch your guitar, its smell familiar,
the frets and the chords
familiar to your hands.
let the song come forth:
the lullaby your aunt hums while pickleing
the chorus you and your lovers sing over breakfast.
let the notes sail on the wind,
feel the center of the melody, and notice:
in the forest, the birds are singing
and the great cat who walks in sunbeams purrs,
and there – the sound of water rushing.
water, like the fox, is a clever escape artist.
over the fields you’ve come,
to the limits of your gran’s map.
now through the woods
to the rushing stream you go.
where the fleet of foot dip their heads
to water cold and sweet.
to go through the forest once more
or to follow the river?
find the rhythm of your heart,
the rushing of your quiet breath.
where do you turn to, the way
a sunflower chases the sun?
pursue the path,
even if it is not well-trod.
these are often the ways that lead
to marvels like summer lightning
or following a hummingbird to dripping honeysuckle.
be the fool, you have wisdom plenty
to know which nightshade is deadly,
and which you can preserve.
the river winds its way through the mountains
so too, do you tread through this unfurling chapter.
and when fear slips its hand in yours,
asking you to cease to change,
to halt the river’s flow,
know, fear is not –
fear is not?
yes, fear is not
your only companion
in your pockets are fuchsias,
in your pack is your cousins’ dandelion coffee
in your heart is a fire that will not extinguish
so long as you shall live.
the blaze that burns
the blaze that makes the flowers bloom
the flame that licks your hand
the flame that renders water into soup.
dare to dance with the fire in you
as the night sky does with the stars.
spin the starlight into a cloak,
and pull the dream around you
and take it with you as you wake.
dare to live in this burning world
let the fear change for having known you
like water to the stone
like air to the freshly baked loaf –
know: everblooming, in you, so long as you shall live
a shining offering from the depths
to be is joy
where fear has made a home, it too makes space for joy
where water has flowed, will flow again.
and there are so many friends to love, met and not yet met.
and the path is wide enough for every creature.
the horizon is full of promise.
the ocean deep with mystery.
the sky peers down with delight.
traveler go forth
and take with your your many gifts:
a rising tide lifts all boats
so too does your everflowing heart
lift with it us all
poem: meet me
For Beau Sia’s poem prompts from #NaPoWriMo2024, posted 4.1.24. #poemswithbeau Prompt 2: meet me. Still poking at the format; completed for V’s birthday. Cross posted to IG.
meet at my best,
no
meet me at my worst.
wait,
that sounds like an insult, but
it is how I learned to love
from my family.
a terrible example,
but it’s true
I think,
that we are searching for
a loosening, a relaxation of clenched fist
when we love;
and in my family
what came down was
hidden,
empty spaces left
and filled in with
and and .
and in private, the house shook with anger
the way a haunted house moans with the wind.
How do I outrun that kind of legacy?
How do I unclench my teeth and not
catch you in the splash of blood?
How about this,
say,
meet me outside, after I’ve snuck past my
childhood monsters, and crept out the front door
and slapped my feet against the concrete.
Or, meet me outside, after I’ve snuck back home,
and made this house a palace of
water and light and rainbows,
an exhale and not a held breath never let go.
I’m headed somewhere, can you meet me out front?
I wanna show you the landscape of my childhood,
a vista of hills and tiny houses, where I inhale
at last meet me, not my best self or worst self, but
my most tender self, most easily loved self, ready
to take her breath at last.
poem: still my love
For beausia’s poem prompts for National Poetry Writing Month 2024. Prompt 1: still love. Written 4.3.24, completed June 2025 for V’s birthday. Crossposted to IG.
still my love, the birds are singing
at night when I go to bed, sometimes
even in the afternoon sun, when I
blearily open my eyes, light sneaking past the
blackout curtains, the way plants will find
the light anyway they can, the way you and I
are reaching for joy no matter the way the
world breaks.
still, my love, we log online and read the headlines,
the New York Times long unreliable, publishing
things even the Onion couldn’t make funny;
a Canva collage informs me on Facebook that my
mentor-peer-homie-comrade has passed away.
I call out sick, my body insisting we cannot go
on and work and labor and grind beneath the
cis hetero capitalist white supremacist death machine,
not today, at least.
still, my love, I find ways to keep going
on Tuesdays I wake up to listen to Worlds Beyond Number,
on Wednesday Vibe Check, at the end of the work day, I have
Fantasy High Junior Year. I am clinging as best I can,
to what reminds me of joy in year 5 of our collective pandemic.
you know I am a sun lover, ink drinker, but these years I turn
the page to other things like: more podcasts, more TV, more music;
more ways to be in my body
shake it off, bake it off, downward dog my way into this stillness where
I can try my best to be a clear channel for what is next to come.
my love, if I can settle into my flesh, let my spirit
inhabit this body like a mecha, I think I can do magic –
just another word for dreaming, for storytelling,
and conjuring beauty in difference. even now,
especially now, I might not be a child anymore
but I believe there is something we can
still
do
now.
May & June 2025, fave media
Books
Elaine U. Cho’s Ocean’s Godori (Alliance #1)
Tricia Levenseller’s The Darkness Within Us (Shadows Between Us #2)
Mimi Matthews’ Rules for Ruin (Crinoline Academy #1)
Taylor Robin’s Hunger’s Bite
Books, rereads
Read More »prose poem: going to jupiter
I know, another post so soon! This time I really am trying to clear out the poems sitting on my hard drive. Crossposted to IG.
Written 1.16.25. Channeling Nikki Giovanni vibes, especially her love of space and Mars, after reading Chasing Utopia. The flowers line is a reference to her poem about flowers there.
One of the greats, she passed in December. I love Nikki’s talks, and her music albums (scroll to see her other albums on Bandcamp). If you’re new to her, I highly recommend the documentary about her, Going to Mars: The Nikki Giovanni Project. If your library has Kanopy, you can watch it there for free.
I am going to Jupiter / favorite planet of mine, storm spun rings, where thunder sparks, and I’ll see by lightning, and tell time by the seconds between claps. / it’ll be a long journey, so I’ll take with me my recharageable wand; my grandmama’s crocheted blanket; and books of course, because so far flung, the arts become even more valuable. / for you, Nikki, I’ll take some flowers, orchids of course, and a music collection to shake the stars and boogey on down with them. / surely they’ll want to know what came after Voyagers 1 and 2 and all the other satellite children we sent on up here. / maybe me and New Horizons will meet up and we can sing happy birthday to each other. I’ll even bake a cake and enjoy it enough for the both of us. / when I’m gone, launch me into Jupiter’s oceans and find me making storms with the mermaids. man in the moon won’t have nothing on us.
March & April 2025, fave media
Books
Kristina Forest’s The Love Lyric (The Greene Sisters #3)
Bethany Jacobs’ These Burning Stars (The Kindom Trilogy #1)
Jessica James’ For One Night Only (Glitter Bats #1)
Katja Klengel’s Girlsplaining
K. O’Neill’s A Song for You and I
Katie Shepard’s No One Does It Like You
Kay Sohini’s This Beautiful Ridiculous City
Music
Read More »poem: slipping skins
Originally written 8.15.24 and tinkered with this month. For Beau Sia’s poem prompts (originally posted 4.1.24) for #NaPoWriMo2024. #poemswithbeau. Prompt 10. lifetime work. Vibes from the imagery of Gloria Anzaldúa’s Borderlands, particularly the poem “Letting Go.” Crossposted to IG.
Last edited: 6.9.25
it is a lifetime’s work to slip out of one skin
and into another, like stepping out on december
31st and coming home to the fresh sheet of
january 1st.
it takes skill to know when irritation and frustration
means your skin has grown too tight, and it is not,
in fact, the fact your coworker couldn’t remember your name,
and most certainly did not read the below email that
unlike his FYP, had all the answers he needed. /
letting go is a skill. if only if it were as easy as
ripping off a shirt and growing muscles beneath the full moon.
no, you must chafe against the restrictions until you
have scraped away the old you, burnt up bits of meat
that cling to moon-white bone.
the feeling of your new skin against the world
makes everything feel new again. ecstatic pain, ecstatic joy.
here is a knife’s edge to split yourself upon, and reach
into your guts and pull forth a new you,
rabbit outta the hat, pull the ocean from your cunt with a fist
settle into a new shape, explore the world again, this time as
a scaled thing – last time with your vestigial gills, next time maybe
with feathers growing from your knuckles
that will remind you that each time you clench your body
and make the punching kind of fist, claws upon your palm,
you could let go. release,
open your flesh to what comes next:
perhaps your fangs will drop, perhaps your feet
will become a deer’s
darting through a forest path,
and perhaps you will open your hand
and fly
to catch the wind